五年级英语作文要领【一】
初稿
As is shown above, a leader father is sitting in the chair with a seal grasping in the hand, and a lot of money beside him. He seriously said to his son that there is more to life than just money -it is power. Simple as the picture is, but a profound truth is reveled in the picture.
I surely disagree with father ’s philosophy. As a leader, he shouldn ’t use his power to make money. It is his duty to serve people wholeheartedly, just one person said “with great power comes great responsibility ”. If he stick to his philosophy. I believe that he will spend the rest of his life in prison. What’s worse, he could affect his son ’s philosophy, guiding him in the opposite direction , nothing can be done to reverse the trend itself. The only solution is to change father ’s philosophy. Because of many greedy officials in China, it is time to reverse the trend itself by establishing new policy. As Chinese always has been our confidence that we can change for the better and better.
In my opinion, there is more to to life than just money -it is happiness, nothing is important than happiness. We can live a colorful life in our spare time.
自评
As is shown above, a leader father is sitting in the chair with a seal grasping in the hand, and a lot of money beside him. He seriously said to his son that there is more to life than just money it is power. Simple as the picture is, but a profound truth is reveled in the picture.
I surely disagree with father ’s philosophy. As a leader, he shouldn ’t use his power to make money. It is his duty to serve people wholeheartedly, just one person said “with great power comes great responsibility ”. If he stick to his philosophy. I believe that he will spend the rest of his life in prison. What’s worse, he could affect his son ’s philosophy, guiding him in the opposite direction , nothing can be done to reverse the trend itself. The only solution is to change father ’s philosophy. Because of many greedy officials in China, it is time to reverse the trend itself by establishing new policy. As Chinese always has been our confidence that we can change for the better and better.
In my opinion, there is more to life than just money it is happiness, nothing is important than happiness. We can live a colorful life in our spare time.
评分：23
互评（刘兴顺评）
As is shown above, a leader father is sitting in the chair with a seal grasping in the hand, and a lot of money beside him. He seriously said to his son that there is more to life than just money it is power. Simple as the picture is, but a profound truth is reveled in the picture.
I surely disagree with father ’s philosophy. As a leader, he shouldn ’t use his power to make money. It is his duty to serve people wholeheartedly, just one person said “with great power comes great responsibility ”. If he stick to his philosophy. I believe that he will spend the rest of his life in prison. What’s worse, he could affect his son ’s philosophy, guiding him in the opposite direction , nothing can be done to reverse the trend itself. The only solution is to change father ’s philosophy. Because of many greedy officials in China, it is time to reverse the trend itself by establishing new policy. As Chinese always has been our confidence that we can change for the better and better.
In my opinion, there is more to life than just money -it is happiness, nothing is important than happiness. We can live a colorful life in our spare time.
评分：23
互评（战越评）
As is shown above, a leader father is sitting in the chair with a seal grasping in the hand, and a lot of money beside him. He seriously said to his son that there is more to life than just money it is power. Simple as the picture is, but a profound truth is reveled in the picture.
I surely disagree with father ’s philosophy. As a leader, he shouldn ’t use his power to make money. It is his duty to serve people wholeheartedly, just one person said “with great power comes great responsibility ”. If he stick to his philosophy. I believe that he will spend the rest of his life in prison. What’s worse, he could affect his son ’s philosophy, guiding him in the opposite direction , nothing can be done to reverse the trend itself. The only solution is to change father ’s philosophy. Because of many greedy officials in China, it is time to reverse the trend itself by establishing new policy. As Chinese always has been our confidence that we can change for the better and better.
In my opinion, there is more to life than just money -it is happiness, nothing is important than happiness. We can live a colorful life in our spare time.
评分：
互评（李春霞评）
As is shown above, a leader father is sitting in the chair with a seal grasping in the hand, and a lot of money beside him. He seriously said to his son that there is more to life than just money it is power. Simple as the picture is, but a profound truth is reveled in the picture.
I surely disagree with father ’s philosophy. As a leader, he shouldn ’t use his power to make money. It is his duty to serve people wholeheartedly, just one person said “with great power comes great responsibility ”. If he stick to his philosophy. I believe that he will spend the rest of his life in prison. What’s worse, he could affect his son ’s philosophy, guiding him in the opposite direction , nothing can be done to reverse the trend itself. The only solution is to change father ’s philosophy. Because of many greedy officials in China, it is time to reverse the trend itself by establishing new policy. As Chinese always has been our confidence that we can change for the better and better.
In my opinion, there is more to life than just money -it is happiness, nothing is important than happiness. We can live a colorful life in our spare time.
评分：
五年级英语作文要领【二】
写作当中，有时要用某些词、句、段贯通文意，起桥梁作用，这就叫“过渡”。过渡可以用在一篇文章中几件并列的事情之间，如《谁是最可爱的人》一文中三个事例之间的抒情和议论的段落，使本来各具独立意思的事情有机地联系了起来。过渡还应用在文中顺叙、插叙与倒叙互相转换的时候，如《一件小事》的第二自然段从顺叙转入倒叙，衔接自然紧密。文章中，在变换描写角度时，也需要过渡，如《孔乙己》一文，记述主人公悲惨遭遇的主体部分有两个层次，分别写断腿前后的孔乙己，这两层之间有这样的过渡句：“孔乙己是这样的使人快活，可是没有他，别人也便这么过。”这句话承上启下，使上下文连贯起来。
为了使文章内容衔接紧凑，结构严谨，一篇文章中，前面写到的，中间或结尾要有交代；后面提到的，前面要有所铺垫，这种安排设计叫做“照应”。常见的照应方法有三种：首尾照应，前后照应，文题照应。这三种方法，在《小桔灯》一文中都有范例。
首尾照应：开头写道“这是十几年以前的事了。”“在一个春节前一天的下午......”结尾呼应：“但是从那时候起，每逢春节......十二年过去了......”
文题照应：全文中，多处照应了题目。如第５段的买桔子，第6、7、8段小姑娘掰开桔子及作小桔灯的动作，第10段我提着小桔灯走在路上的联想等。
前后照应：如第2段对房间陈设的描写，提到竹凳及墙上的电话；第3段写小姑娘登上凳子要打电话的动作；第6段提到朋友有事出去，第11段则交代朋友已经回来了；第9段写小姑娘的话“我爸爸一定会回来的”，第12段则呼应“那小姑娘的爸爸一定早回来了”。
从《小桔灯》行文的处处照应，没有丝毫疏漏，可见作家冰心的写作技巧，正因为如此，文章才做到细针密线、结构严谨，来龙去脉、清晰鲜明。
＊写作训练＊
一、理解“线索”、“过渡”、“照应”,在课文、例文或者自己的中各找出一例说明。
二、分析下面这篇病文的缺点,修改使其“康复”。
一件珍贵的礼物
在我的抽屉里,珍藏着一条红色发带。每当我打开抽屉、看到这根发带的时候,我的心就被带到了几年前的一天。
那是一个晴天,万里无云。小姨带着我和她四岁的小女孩去商店给我们买些发带一类的东西。
走了好几个商店,也没遇到称心的。这时过来一个人跟小姨打招呼,小姨跟她说了一会儿话,那人问小姨要买什么,小姨告诉了她。那人从口袋里拿出一条红色发带,那发带上有白色斑点,还有花边,漂亮极了！我的眼直勾勾的盯着,小妹也看发带！那人告诉小姨发带是在一家商店买的。小姨看出我和妹妹都喜欢那发带,便拉着我们往新益商店去了。
来到了新益商店,售货员告诉我们,这种发带只有一条了。小姨买了下来,然后问我们好看不好看。那还用问,当然好看了。可发带只有一条,给谁呢？小姨看了看我们,问谁要。妹妹先叫:“我要！我要！”我想起几天前的一件事来:
那一天中午,邻家给了我一条红绳子。可小妹一来,就看见了这条绳子,就要。后来,虽然我不愿给,可妈妈让我给了妹妹。今天,她又要抢我的东西了。她是小姨的女儿,小姨自然向着她了。
可小姨却把发带给了我。小妹虽然不愿意,却被小姨哄着也不要了。小姨,请原谅我刚才的胡思乱想吧。我将永远记着您对我的爱。
[提示]这篇病文的主要毛病是:交待不明,前后缺乏照应;插叙、倒叙和顺叙转解不清。此外还有其它的毛病。修改时,可以改文题,可以联想增加一些细节描写,但是不能改变原文的主要故事情节。修改后的文章的字数不能超过原文字数的一倍半。
修改稿（供参考）
一条红色的发带
许多女孩子都喜欢戴发带,使自己充满活力。我也有几条发带,其中我最喜欢的是一条红色的发带。它时常勾起我一段美好的回忆。
那是几年前的一个春天,家住乡下的小姨带着她四岁的小女儿来我家作客。我是个独生女,家里突然多了个活泼可爱的小表妹做伴,心里别提多高兴了。过了几天,小姨说:“我领你们小姐俩上街去玩玩儿,你们想买些什么呀？”我听了赶忙说:“我要《渴望》里小芳头上戴的那种发带。”小表妹也跟着嚷:“我也要,我也要！”小姨笑着说:“好吧,一人买一条。”
小姨领着我们一连走了几家商店,也没有看到我中意的那种发带。忽然,眼前一亮,我不禁叫道:“多好看的发带呀！”前面不远处,一位阿姨正领着一个年纪和我相仿的小姑娘,小姑娘一边走一边舞弄着手中的一条发带。小姨三步并做两步赶了上去,对那位阿姨说:“同志,对不起,请问这发带您是在哪儿买的？我看看行吗？”那位阿姨笑吟吟地回答说:“在新益商店买的。”说着,随手从小姑娘手中拿过发带递给小姨,并指点着新益商店的方位。这是一条红色的发带,上面有许多白色的小圆点,金线镶边,漂亮极了！小姨刚把发带还给那位阿姨,我就拉着小表妹快步向那家商店走去。
我们到了柜台前一问,非常遗憾,这种红发带只有一条了。小姨交完款,无可奈何地问我俩:“怎么办？你们谁要哇？”小表妹一下子跳起来:“我要！我要！”我的眼睛直勾勾地盯着发带,几天前的一件事又浮现在脑海里:那一天中午,小表妹看见了邻家给我的一条红绳子,张嘴就要,我舍不得给她可妈妈说,妹妹小,又是客人,应该让给她。结果那条红绳子我还没来得及玩一次,就归了小表妹了。想到这儿,我的心一下凉了。小表妹是小姨的宝贝心肝儿,这条发带肯定又是她的！我正在胡思乱想时,一双温暖的手轻轻地把发带戴到了我头上,同时“哇”的响起了小表妹的哭声。就这样,我怀着无限的内疚,踏着小表妹委曲的哭声,不住所措地随着小姨走出了商店。
几年时间过去了,这条红色的发带我一直珍藏着,没有舍得戴它。每当看到它,心头就涌起一股暖流,而且随着年龄的增长,我更加感到它的珍贵和美好——它告诉我要像小姨那样去做人。
五年级英语作文要领【三】
记叙文的本质特点是故事性，记叙文是用来讲故事的。好的的记叙文正如好的电视剧，情节精彩，故事性强，悬念重重，能引人入胜。有了故事性，才有了记叙文的本质。
故事精彩，记叙文才能吸引人，才能给读者留下深刻的印象。抓住了故事性的记叙文，即便文笔一般，文章也差不到哪里去。通常情况下，学生写的记叙文不佳，最主要的原因就是故事的框架、选材和情节没有构造好，文章显得平庸乏味。学生写记叙文要从故事性入手，有故事则有内容，有内容才有精彩。高考记叙文写作，成败的关键皆由故事性决定。
优秀的记叙文，往往构思精致巧妙，情节引人入胜，高明的作者都在故事情节的完整及构思的巧妙方面下功夫。记叙文要完整生动地叙述故事，名家名作无不是寓巧妙的情节构思于完整的故事之中。故事的情节是要靠矛盾的发展去推动的，因而情节的发展要有自然性、合理性和完整性。如果片面求新而破坏了故事的完整性，就会得不偿失。
